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applaud local women. The core of the magazine is our inspirational women's articles, most of which feature local women but occasionally we are
able to interview national women who we feel provide a unique inspiration for our readers. Our other articles cover topics of interest such as food
recipes, home, garden, beauty, health, fashion, dating, parenting, seniors, finance, business, hair care, skin care, advice, real estate, insurance,
weddings etc. Each issue has a feature section as well. Many of our articles are written by local business people who provide information
relevant to their business expertise. The Applaud Women website is also a resource center for local women including the most comprehensive
listings of Restaurants, Weddings, Female doctors and Hotels. It also includes a number of informational pages with links, articles and RSS feeds
to both local and national websites of interest to women in NH & n. MA.
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| Saving and Investing Wisely - Part 2 By Helen Dutton |
Q: Okay, I understand why I tend to spend money after saving some money. But in the last issue you said my husband’s fear of doing anything
with our money is also based on a lack of trust. Can you explain?
A: Let’s start with the basics: what happens when you don’t trust a physical or mechanical object, such as a car, or a bridge? You avoid it, you
don’t use it. The same is true with ourselves; when we don’t trust ourselves, or our opinions, we ignore our own judgment. Think of a time when
you ignored your intuition; chances are that at some later point you said, “I should have listened to my gut.” We are each born with a guidance
system, our very own GPS which tells us what to do. This system doesn’t just tell us right from wrong, honesty from dishonesty; it tells us what is
best for us as an individual. Whether it’s about a relationship, your career, or money, we typically run into trouble when we ignore our internal
wisdom.
Back to your husband and money: part of your husband has decided that he is not to be trusted with money. After all, look at what’s happened in
the past! He may have some debt, spent too much, or invested in something that didn’t sustain its value. The current economy encourages our
gremlin to say, “See? You made a mess of it. You just can’t be trusted with money.” Whatever financial decision he/you made seems to support
the notion that you just can’t be trusted. So don’t go trying to make any financial decisions again. Ever.
For the next few minutes, I want you to ask your gremlin to go sit down. That’s right, bench him. With a pen and paper, answer these questions:
Think of financial choices you’ve made that you are proud of. It could be an investment, a purchase, a decision to save. Go back as far as you
can remember and write them all down. My seven-year old last week told me how proud he was because he put some money into his piggy bank
and decided he would leave it there (money tends to be like sand in his hands). That memory that has your gremlin saying “You’re going to write
that down?” –Yes, write down those piggy bank stories.
If you do have savings, what are some possibilities that you could do with it? Make a list of at least 10 possibilities. Consider the classic advice for
a child: save some, spend some, and share some.
Try the following exercise:
Put a $50 bill in your wallet for two weeks. Keep track of your emotions when you see it. Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you want to get rid
of it, in anyway that you can? Are you afraid you will lose it? I once worked with a woman who remembered that as a child she had lost a $10 bill
that belonged to her mother from her pocket. You guessed it – she carried forward the message that she couldn’t be trusted with money.
American money bears the inscription “In God We Trust.” Listen to the divine, but also listen to the divine within us. Add the words, “In ME I trust.”
with our money is also based on a lack of trust. Can you explain?
A: Let’s start with the basics: what happens when you don’t trust a physical or mechanical object, such as a car, or a bridge? You avoid it, you
don’t use it. The same is true with ourselves; when we don’t trust ourselves, or our opinions, we ignore our own judgment. Think of a time when
you ignored your intuition; chances are that at some later point you said, “I should have listened to my gut.” We are each born with a guidance
system, our very own GPS which tells us what to do. This system doesn’t just tell us right from wrong, honesty from dishonesty; it tells us what is
best for us as an individual. Whether it’s about a relationship, your career, or money, we typically run into trouble when we ignore our internal
wisdom.
Back to your husband and money: part of your husband has decided that he is not to be trusted with money. After all, look at what’s happened in
the past! He may have some debt, spent too much, or invested in something that didn’t sustain its value. The current economy encourages our
gremlin to say, “See? You made a mess of it. You just can’t be trusted with money.” Whatever financial decision he/you made seems to support
the notion that you just can’t be trusted. So don’t go trying to make any financial decisions again. Ever.
For the next few minutes, I want you to ask your gremlin to go sit down. That’s right, bench him. With a pen and paper, answer these questions:
Think of financial choices you’ve made that you are proud of. It could be an investment, a purchase, a decision to save. Go back as far as you
can remember and write them all down. My seven-year old last week told me how proud he was because he put some money into his piggy bank
and decided he would leave it there (money tends to be like sand in his hands). That memory that has your gremlin saying “You’re going to write
that down?” –Yes, write down those piggy bank stories.
If you do have savings, what are some possibilities that you could do with it? Make a list of at least 10 possibilities. Consider the classic advice for
a child: save some, spend some, and share some.
Try the following exercise:
Put a $50 bill in your wallet for two weeks. Keep track of your emotions when you see it. Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you want to get rid
of it, in anyway that you can? Are you afraid you will lose it? I once worked with a woman who remembered that as a child she had lost a $10 bill
that belonged to her mother from her pocket. You guessed it – she carried forward the message that she couldn’t be trusted with money.
American money bears the inscription “In God We Trust.” Listen to the divine, but also listen to the divine within us. Add the words, “In ME I trust.”