| Self Love by Christa Ryan |
When I was asked to write for a Women’s Magazine, I stopped short in my tracks and tried to think of a commonality that we all shared and were all battling. I hope
to start with this topic – Self Love – and go down the list of what arises when we avoid this important entity to the core of our development in relationships with our
loved ones and acquaintances. At the end of each article I will share an important section in my Memoir: Silent Screams from the Hamptons and what it took to
finally make the changes in myself to live a Joyful and Serene Life.
We women are forever busy holding up our families, our job places, society, and extended families. We’re the caretaker, the breadwinner, the mother, house
cleaner, nurturer, and just plain chief cook and bottle washer.
Loving ourselves sounds so simple, but how do we do it? Learning more about who we are is a good first step. After acknowledging who we are, we can begin
the process of accepting what we can do and what we shouldn’t do – getting a more balanced view of ourselves when we acknowledge how hard we are working
to change. We want love. We deserve love. We must become initiators because as the fulcrum of the family, no one else will do it for us.
What does it mean to love ourselves all day long? It means loving ourselves even when we feel shame for yelling at a loved one. There will be days when we need
to make a conscious decision to love ourselves moment by moment. This is a process that in time will allow us to realize the gains we have made. We will see
that it is possible to love ourselves fully, even though we have not become perfect. As a woman, I see how hard we are on ourselves – never allowing ourselves
the ability to become gentle with ourselves. It’s all about performance, accomplishing and providing for everything and everyone outside of ourselves.
I’m learning to nourish myself with affirmations – by stopping and making the time to add them to my thought patterns, I have been able to change my perception
of myself and start feeling good about myself. We have been told that Mom and Dad raised us to the best of their ability, but that does not mean we were given the
affirmations or the gentle guidance that we needed as youngsters. Our parents were not able to pass on what they didn’t have, and old patterns die hard. We need
to share our personal story and be loved for it. We need to get the positive strokes we deserve from friends. We need to keep telling ourselves that we’re worthy of
respect, love, and all the good that the universe holds.
I have personally found that when we start the process of loving and nurturing ourselves, the rest of the family situation starts to improve. When we start blazing the
trails for ourselves, the rest of our loved ones start to follow suit. We teach people how to treat us. When we’re not feeling the love and respect for ourselves, no
one else will either. It becomes a cut and dry issue of boundaries – boundaries that we have to learn to set for ourselves and for everyone else. When we (women)
start learning to ask for what we need and allow ourselves the space and nurturing that we deserve in order to continue carrying the Herculaneum responsibilities,
we will begin to see the necessary changes that self love can bring.
From Silent Screams from the Hamptons Chapter 17
It’s Not the End of the World But I can See the Edge
I was sick and tired of being scared out of my skin all the time. Nothing was ever going to change in my life until I figured out that it was me who had to change. I
was living some else’s life. The person I thought I was had left the building a long time ago. It horrified me that my children were now viewing the movie that I had
watched as a child, witnessing parents physically assaulting each other. I had to start the process of breaking this chain of destruction, or my children were going
to grow up living these habits, hurts and hang-ups all over again! Somehow I had to halt the violence.
Christa Jan Ryan was born into a chaotic family, enduring alcoholism, drug overdoses, and violence. The youngest of six children, three of her sisters are triplets,
all born with Cerebral Palsy. She has been a professional landscape designer and consultant to the rich and famous of the Hamptons for the last thirty years.
Following her heartwarming first book, From the Depths of a Women’s Soul, Ryan’s Silent Screams from the Hamptons, has won two awards and been on NPR,
ABC, NBC, and Time Warner. She lives in the Berkshires of Massachusetts with her two sons and cat, and continues to write about important issues with a
renewed sense of purpose and humor.
Christa can be found at www.christajanryan.com and/or www.silentscreamsfromthehamptons.com.
to start with this topic – Self Love – and go down the list of what arises when we avoid this important entity to the core of our development in relationships with our
loved ones and acquaintances. At the end of each article I will share an important section in my Memoir: Silent Screams from the Hamptons and what it took to
finally make the changes in myself to live a Joyful and Serene Life.
We women are forever busy holding up our families, our job places, society, and extended families. We’re the caretaker, the breadwinner, the mother, house
cleaner, nurturer, and just plain chief cook and bottle washer.
Loving ourselves sounds so simple, but how do we do it? Learning more about who we are is a good first step. After acknowledging who we are, we can begin
the process of accepting what we can do and what we shouldn’t do – getting a more balanced view of ourselves when we acknowledge how hard we are working
to change. We want love. We deserve love. We must become initiators because as the fulcrum of the family, no one else will do it for us.
What does it mean to love ourselves all day long? It means loving ourselves even when we feel shame for yelling at a loved one. There will be days when we need
to make a conscious decision to love ourselves moment by moment. This is a process that in time will allow us to realize the gains we have made. We will see
that it is possible to love ourselves fully, even though we have not become perfect. As a woman, I see how hard we are on ourselves – never allowing ourselves
the ability to become gentle with ourselves. It’s all about performance, accomplishing and providing for everything and everyone outside of ourselves.
I’m learning to nourish myself with affirmations – by stopping and making the time to add them to my thought patterns, I have been able to change my perception
of myself and start feeling good about myself. We have been told that Mom and Dad raised us to the best of their ability, but that does not mean we were given the
affirmations or the gentle guidance that we needed as youngsters. Our parents were not able to pass on what they didn’t have, and old patterns die hard. We need
to share our personal story and be loved for it. We need to get the positive strokes we deserve from friends. We need to keep telling ourselves that we’re worthy of
respect, love, and all the good that the universe holds.
I have personally found that when we start the process of loving and nurturing ourselves, the rest of the family situation starts to improve. When we start blazing the
trails for ourselves, the rest of our loved ones start to follow suit. We teach people how to treat us. When we’re not feeling the love and respect for ourselves, no
one else will either. It becomes a cut and dry issue of boundaries – boundaries that we have to learn to set for ourselves and for everyone else. When we (women)
start learning to ask for what we need and allow ourselves the space and nurturing that we deserve in order to continue carrying the Herculaneum responsibilities,
we will begin to see the necessary changes that self love can bring.
From Silent Screams from the Hamptons Chapter 17
It’s Not the End of the World But I can See the Edge
I was sick and tired of being scared out of my skin all the time. Nothing was ever going to change in my life until I figured out that it was me who had to change. I
was living some else’s life. The person I thought I was had left the building a long time ago. It horrified me that my children were now viewing the movie that I had
watched as a child, witnessing parents physically assaulting each other. I had to start the process of breaking this chain of destruction, or my children were going
to grow up living these habits, hurts and hang-ups all over again! Somehow I had to halt the violence.
Christa Jan Ryan was born into a chaotic family, enduring alcoholism, drug overdoses, and violence. The youngest of six children, three of her sisters are triplets,
all born with Cerebral Palsy. She has been a professional landscape designer and consultant to the rich and famous of the Hamptons for the last thirty years.
Following her heartwarming first book, From the Depths of a Women’s Soul, Ryan’s Silent Screams from the Hamptons, has won two awards and been on NPR,
ABC, NBC, and Time Warner. She lives in the Berkshires of Massachusetts with her two sons and cat, and continues to write about important issues with a
renewed sense of purpose and humor.
Christa can be found at www.christajanryan.com and/or www.silentscreamsfromthehamptons.com.
The Applaud Women publication is dedicated to women in New Hampshire and northern Massachusetts. It's purpose is to inspire, inform, and
applaud local women. The core of the magazine is our inspirational women's articles, most of which feature local women but occasionally we are
able to interview national women who we feel provide a unique inspiration for our readers. Our other articles cover topics of interest such as food
recipes, home, garden, beauty, health, fashion, dating, parenting, seniors, finance, business, hair care, skin care, advice, real estate, insurance,
weddings etc. Each issue has a feature section as well. Many of our articles are written by local business people who provide information
relevant to their business expertise. The Applaud Women website is also a resource center for local women including the most comprehensive
listings of Restaurants, Weddings, Female doctors and Hotels. It also includes a number of informational pages with links, articles and RSS feeds
to both local and national websites of interest to women in NH & n. MA.
applaud local women. The core of the magazine is our inspirational women's articles, most of which feature local women but occasionally we are
able to interview national women who we feel provide a unique inspiration for our readers. Our other articles cover topics of interest such as food
recipes, home, garden, beauty, health, fashion, dating, parenting, seniors, finance, business, hair care, skin care, advice, real estate, insurance,
weddings etc. Each issue has a feature section as well. Many of our articles are written by local business people who provide information
relevant to their business expertise. The Applaud Women website is also a resource center for local women including the most comprehensive
listings of Restaurants, Weddings, Female doctors and Hotels. It also includes a number of informational pages with links, articles and RSS feeds
to both local and national websites of interest to women in NH & n. MA.
The opinions and information provided within the Applaud Women publication or on the Applaud Women website are not necessarily those of Applaud Women, it's officers, staff or
contributing writers. Nor does inclusion on ApplaudWomen.com constitute endorsement of the views, products, services or informational content contained within the publication, advertising
on found anywhere on the website. Applaud Women values accuracy; however, Applaud Women does not warranty the accuracy of material provided by it's writers, advertisers or any
information provided by other sources included on the website.
No reproduction of any part of this page or any other page on the website is permitted without the express permission of Applaud Women.
contributing writers. Nor does inclusion on ApplaudWomen.com constitute endorsement of the views, products, services or informational content contained within the publication, advertising
on found anywhere on the website. Applaud Women values accuracy; however, Applaud Women does not warranty the accuracy of material provided by it's writers, advertisers or any
information provided by other sources included on the website.
No reproduction of any part of this page or any other page on the website is permitted without the express permission of Applaud Women.
The Applaud Women publication is dedicated to women in New Hampshire and northern Massachusetts. It's purpose is to inspire, inform, and
applaud local women. The core of the magazine is our inspirational women's articles, most of which feature local women but occasionally we are
able to interview national women who we feel provide a unique inspiration for our readers. Our other articles cover topics of interest such as food
recipes, home, garden, beauty, health, fashion, dating, parenting, seniors, finance, business, hair care, skin care, advice, real estate, insurance,
weddings etc. Each issue has a feature section as well. Many of our articles are written by local business people who provide information
relevant to their business expertise. The Applaud Women website is also a resource center for local women including the most comprehensive
listings of Restaurants, Weddings, Female doctors and Hotels. It also includes a number of informational pages with links, articles and RSS feeds
to both local and national websites of interest to women in NH & n. MA.
applaud local women. The core of the magazine is our inspirational women's articles, most of which feature local women but occasionally we are
able to interview national women who we feel provide a unique inspiration for our readers. Our other articles cover topics of interest such as food
recipes, home, garden, beauty, health, fashion, dating, parenting, seniors, finance, business, hair care, skin care, advice, real estate, insurance,
weddings etc. Each issue has a feature section as well. Many of our articles are written by local business people who provide information
relevant to their business expertise. The Applaud Women website is also a resource center for local women including the most comprehensive
listings of Restaurants, Weddings, Female doctors and Hotels. It also includes a number of informational pages with links, articles and RSS feeds
to both local and national websites of interest to women in NH & n. MA.
The opinions and information provided within the Applaud Women publication or on the Applaud Women website are not necessarily those of Applaud Women, it's officers, staff or
contributing writers. Nor does inclusion on ApplaudWomen.com constitute endorsement of the views, products, services or informational content contained within the publication, advertising
on found anywhere on the website. Applaud Women values accuracy; however, Applaud Women does not warranty the accuracy of material provided by it's writers, advertisers or any
information provided by other sources included on the website.
No reproduction of any part of this page or any other page on the website is permitted without the express permission of Applaud Women.
contributing writers. Nor does inclusion on ApplaudWomen.com constitute endorsement of the views, products, services or informational content contained within the publication, advertising
on found anywhere on the website. Applaud Women values accuracy; however, Applaud Women does not warranty the accuracy of material provided by it's writers, advertisers or any
information provided by other sources included on the website.
No reproduction of any part of this page or any other page on the website is permitted without the express permission of Applaud Women.