One of the greatest things about my friends is that they always manage to entertain me with their stories about the different guys they are interested in. I love hearing about their different interactions, funny things that have happened, and seeing the different stages of their relationships play out. Naturally, we have these discussions on campus in fairly public places, so it’s only fitting that each man to be discussed has an official code name. My personal favorite is ‘Dumpster.’

I  know that a nickname like Dumpster isn’t exactly flattering, but there’s a story. When we were freshmen four long years ago, my friend had a giant crush on a guy that looks exactly like my uncle. Back then, we started calling him ‘hot uncle,’ and I slowly began to realize how creepy and slightly awkward it was for me to openly call this guy ‘hot uncle,’ especially when the uncle in question was my own. My friend and this guy had a few mutual friends from home, had a class together, and both played the same sport, so they had a lot to talk about. One Saturday night, they decided to hang out and he FINALLY made a move and kissed her. The best part about this story was that it happened behind a dumpster – romantic, I know. That’s how he went from ‘hot uncle’ to Dumpster, much to my relief. 

Unfortunately for my friend, this blossoming relationship never went past the stage of waste receptacle hook-ups, but four years later, she still has lingering feelings for him (and we all think he still likes her, too). We could never figure out exactly why they never moved beyond that stage, but we have about one month left until graduation, so there’s still some time. There is a formula and a designated path for the different stages of college relationships, and unfortunately, my friend and Dumpster have not yet made it past stage four, but we have hope – we all think she’s pretty great! Here are the stages:

Stage One –

“Hey, I think I know you from somewhere!”

You know you’ve seen this guy walking around, and he’s probably seen you too. You exchange names, get to know each other, and give him your phone number.

Stage Two – 1 New Friend Request

Aah, what’s better than logging onto Facebook and seeing that little icon of a head and a +1 next to it? Could it be…is it him? It is! It may be a little sad that this is how we have to gauge if a guy is starting to become interested or not, but they’re a lot less shy behind a computer screen or a cell phone, if he decides to text you.

Stage Three –

Well, today is Tuesday, and we might cross paths, so I should probably not wear sweat pants. You’re starting to notice that you’re seeing this guy around campus more and more, so you know which days are not OK to skip showering for a few more minutes of sleep.

Stage Four – Weekend!

It’s finally the weekend (for we collegiates, that means Thirsty Thursday through Sunday Funday), which means there’s a good chance that you two will bump into each other while wandering the campus. He might even send a text message your way asking what you’re up to.

Stage Five – Public Appearances

There’s a good chance that by now you have hung out together, and there has probably been some exchanges of affection. Now it’s time for the big step:  eating together. It may sound marginal, but a cafeteria is a gold mine. People watchers galore will see you together (after all, that’s probably his plan) and this is a complete affirmation of the fact that he’s into you and wants other people to know it, too.

Stage Six – What? You want to hang out on a Monday?

Things are getting serious; this guy wants to hang out on one of the three non-weekend days? No drinking involved? JACKPOT.

Stage Seven – Being ‘together’ vs. making it ‘official’

The two of you spend a LOT of time together. Everyone knows there’s something going on…but what exactly IS going on? This is where the boys are distinguished from the men. Some are nervous that if they fully commit to a girl, their style will be cramped, they’ll get too tied down, or it could damage their image. Just say no. A man worth your time, even if he does have a ridiculous code name, won’t care about that and will openly acknowledge that he wants to be with you – and he wants everyone else to know it too.

Now, not all of these stages happen, and they won’t always happen in this order, but they serve as a general guideline. Not all men are man enough to take it through to step five and beyond, but if they are, chances are you’ve snagged a winner. Happy hunting! 

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